Archive for the ‘Sandra Walston’s STUCKThinking™ courage blog’ Category

Joy Rose is the Media Mom and Sandra Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. Both courageous women collaborate on Joy’s online television segment aired every Wednesday night at 7:00 ET, starting July 21, 2010.

All your actions reflect who you are and what you stand for. If you’re repeating a certain behavior that you don’t like, don’t editorialize! Look inside and ask, “What old script needs adjusting?” To move out of an old “B movie” that old scripts inflict, sharpen your skills and abilities through education, reading and training, and surround yourself with the kind of people you want to learn from—the people that epitomize higher levels of courage consciousness.

Three questions for the listener this week: (1) When was the last time you learned something new? (2) When was the last time you discarded an unhealthy relationship? (3) When was the last time you had a self-awareness insight?

• The answer to overcome the obstacle this week is self-doubt. Self-doubt keeps a woman in StuckThinking™. When it comes to defeating the incessant chatter that consumes our false self/ego and creates self-doubt, discover the crucial manifestation of the courage action that requires you to establish higher standards. That’s what former CEO Katherine Graham did when she courageously stepped up the leadership ladder to take over the Washington Post. 

• Then, post prominently this week’s productivity quote by Clare Boothe Luce: “Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.”

Who is Joy Rose? Joy Rose is the Media Mom™ at MAMAPALOOZA for MingleMediatv, connecting families with Women-Empowered, Mom-Branded Entertainment, Education and Business. She’s performed across America with her band Housewives On Prozac and is currently acting executive Director for the Museum Of Motherhood, honoring the legacy of mothers past, present and future. Joy is a NOW-NYC, Susan B. Anthony Award recipient and her work on behalf of women and girls is ongoing. Join the conversation each Wed. at 7PM (EST) live for Music, Commentary and Culture featuring Feminist Perspectives!

Risk-taker…imaginative…venturesome…visionary…industrious…opportunistic—such are the expressions most people use to describe an entrepreneur. While these descriptions are usually accurate, many people fail to see entrepreneurs for what they really are: the embodiment of courage. Entrepreneurs know there is a direct correlation between success and their courageous leadership quotient.

Entrepreneurs represent the true portraits of courageous endeavor. Why? Rather than accept the status quo, they trust their own abilities, define their own career and step up to the challenge of creating the business of their dreams. They give themselves permission to go against the norm and make bold moves into uncharted waters. As a result, they reap intrinsic rewards from their own efforts and achieve the results that lead to long-term success. Below are the final four of twelve tips for entrepreneurs to apply everyday courage. How many did you access you apply and demonstrate? 

1. Live Convictions

One entrepreneur told me that applying his courage at work requires that he demonstrate daily an unconditional commitment to his beliefs, values and ideals. This is not an easy commitment to maintain, especially if you are stuck in invisibility—an obstacle to courage. Are you willing to showcase your talents, take a risk, face failure, overcome rejection and say “No” to conformity (a courage killer)? Conformity compresses talent. The savvy entrepreneur knows that there is a direct correlation between their courage quotient and success. Do you remember what it feels like to “fall on your sword?”

2. Confront abuse

Recognizing first red flags that undermine success such as a client trying to discount your services or alter your course of action is a critical courage action. To stand in your dignity means denial is not an option. Denial is a form of self-abuse that creates suffering such as sleepless nights. Reflect on a situation at work that causes tension (or worse) in your life. As you examine the situation, begin to notice your “default” courage settings. Then, take responsibility for your courage consciousness development and declare, “No more suffering.”

3. Overcome illness or loss

Do the challenges you face seem so daunting that you have allowed your unique talents and unlimited potential to wither away in neglect? Has self-neglect robbed you of the inner strength to act in your own best interests? If you answered “Yes” to either of these questions, you can begin to strengthen your spirit and overcome the obstacle of self-neglect that perpetuates physical illness or loss of identity. Throughout the day, how many masks do you wear that keep you neglecting your true Self? What mask are you wearing right now, such as depression, judgment, suffering or blame? Are you a “self-neglect profile” in non-courage? Identifying the first small step to motivate yourself quells any anxiety. Focus on something immediate and easily reachable. This narrow focus helps you recognize that courage is an accumulation of small steps up the ladder, and this simple recognition helps you avoid standing on one leg in the dark. When was the last time you shed one false portrait?

4. Embrace faith

Wouldn’t it be nice if you knew a saint, such as St. Teresa of Avila? You could meet for a cup of java and talk about the aspects of working in as an enlightened entrepreneur. Saints started out as ordinary people; then, their purpose unfolded. The difference between the saints and most of us is that they listened and trusted the undertones of their hearts (their courage) while the rest of us allowed our ego-based scripts to keep us wavering in uncertainty. Uncertainty may seem unavoidable in our age of information overload, bombarded as we are with contradictory “facts” from every quarter making it harder and harder to distinguish truth from falsehood. But we all have a choice, and getting stuck in uncertainty is essentially choosing not to choose. By focusing our attention inward and following our hearts, we strengthen our faith in our true, courageous selves and step up, confident that we are following our own true paths.

Courageous Actions Equals Productivity

If everyday courage has eluded your spirit in the past, now is the time to step up and make your entrepreneurial vision a profile in courage—the one that reveals your heart and spirit.

Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE, trainer and courage coach. She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. Please visit www.sandrawalston.com.

Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert

Innovator, StuckThinking™

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

© Sandra Walston

All Rights Reserved

Below you will find four additional tips to apply entrepreneurial courage. After you combine all twelve courage behaviors over the month of August you will be better suited to determine where you are weighted in courage actions and where you might be blind to a few other behavioral choices. For example, you’re proficient expressing yourself (speaking up), but StuckThinking™ shows up in fear. Fear is portrayed when you observe incessant mind chatter that over-analyzes all the worst case scenarios. This over-analysis keeps an entrepreneur from making decisive choices that result in lost opportunities. The outcome of this scenario is an attempt to control life’s situations. Control of the future is an illusion of the false self (ego). Take time to self-assess which courage behaviors you apply.

1. Speak up
If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, believe your intuition and disclose why you believe the situation is not desirable. Exercise your courageous voice by challenging the status quo; make graceful waves when someone is putting you down or attempting to deter your passion. Swallowing your voice is the opposite of being the voice above the crowd. A courageous voice has learned how to embody “where courage meets grace.” Are you willing to have a “courageous conversation?”
 
2. Conquer fear
True fear is a survival signal that sounds only in the presence of danger; yet, our culture is stuck in the creation of dualities, such as courage or fear. In other words, you can’t have courage without fear. Not true! If you go to work and learn your biggest client has gone to your competitor do you allow anxiety to take over in the form of projections, such as “I am going to go under…” At this point, observe your mental chatter so you can monitor the fearful feelings. A courageous entrepreneur does not spend much time in regrets. Fear blocks and paralyzes the heart; therefore, fear blocks courage. What percentage of your life, right now, is filled with regret?

3.  Reveal vulnerability
The storms that enter your work life offer opportunities for an honest assessment of your vulnerabilities. You discover that vulnerability comes in many forms, such as acknowledging your unhappiness, learning to move on through disastrous events and learning not to manipulate failures or mistakes. While this may seem like a sensible behavior pattern for an entrepreneur, the deeper truth is that revealing your vulnerability represents integrity and authenticates your True Self. This choice is the opposite of hiding your mistakes or a weakness that is accomplished through manipulation, which undermines integrity, breeds distrust and stifles “heart and spirit.” As poet e.e. cummings wrote, “It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.”

4.  Reinvent self
One of the keys to productivity is to have the courage to do things differently. That is probably why many traditional organizations are constantly trying to reinvent their leadership models and redefine expectations. Strategizing means the ability to re-create daily, not just during the annual budget meeting at corporate headquarters. Entrepreneurs naturally tend to know this. Rarely generalists, they represent portraits of courageous endeavors. Why? Rather than accept the comfort of apathy, they trust their own abilities, define their careers and demonstrate the self-discipline necessary to create the business of their dreams. How often do you reinvent yourself?

Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE, trainer and courage coach. She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. Please visit www.sandrawalston.com.

Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert
Innovator, StuckThinking™
Follow me on Twitter and Facebook
© Sandra Walston
All Rights Reserved

As entrepreneurs maneuver through business pursuits, they recognize defining moments and apply “everyday courage.” Cognizant of the etymology of courage (meaning, “heart and spirit”), their courage consciousness is vital to their success, particularly during times of uncertainty.

Based on thirteen years of original courage research, twelve behaviors of courage emerged that are significant if you wish to keep stepping up at work—it’s the only way to cultivate a reservoir of courage. Below, the courageous entrepreneur will find four of the twelve behaviors they can utilize to keep stepping up. The remaining two sets of four will be featured in the next courage blog posting. You might wish to prominently display this ancient Chinese proverb: “He who hesitates before each step spends his life on one leg.”

1.  Affirm strength and determination
The entrepreneurial spirit is a disciplined machine that knows why it is important to take time to practice daily reflection (at least twenty minutes) to evaluate and apply the best resources available. When doubt seeps in they ask themselves, “Do I really need this?” Then, after reevaluating their path, they decide whether the sacrifice is worth the objective. If they need to make adjustments to their plan, they do. Applying courage consciousness, they constantly refocus, and continue to step up (remembering to focus on the proverb).
 
2.  Hurdle obstacles and take risks
Every behavior you exhibit and every action you take is a choice. There is a big difference between reacting, such as being foolhardly, and courage consciousness. Give yourself permission to choose the risks you take so you can creatively navigate your way around, through, or over any obstacles that cross your path. Entrepreneurs know that mediocrity is the kiss of death. When you feel reluctance set in, ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen if I do this?” Usually the worst never occurs, so take the risk and step up to the next rung of the ladder (even though it might feel like double steps).

3.  Manifest vision
There are no shortcuts when it comes to business success, so it’s important to know where you want to go and develop a crystal clear vision of your goal. Become stubborn about attaining your vision so you can discard any non-productive judgments others put on you. Committing totally means you stay “true to yourself” (that’s your everyday courage at work!). You can accomplish this by developing your SQ (Spiritual Intelligence). How do you do this? Stay present so you can shift gears if the goals you set forth need modification. Imagine if you were on a cruise chip to the Caribbean and the compass on the ship was off one degree! It won’t take long before you end up in Nova Scotia! Are you off one degree?  

4.  Reflect self-esteem
All your actions reflect who you are and what you stand for. If you’re repeating a certain behavior that you don’t like, don’t editorialize! Look inside and ask, “What old script needs adjusting?” To move out of an old “B movie” sharpen your skills and abilities through education, reading, training, time for reflection, and surround yourself with the kind of people you want to learn from—the people that display higher levels of courage consciousness. When was the last time you learned something new?

Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE, trainer and courage coach. She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. Please visit www.sandrawalston.com.

Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert

Innovator, StuckThinking™

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

© Sandra Walston

All Rights Reserved

To recognize courage, it helps to distinguish the various facets of courage. Some of us manifest certain types of courage well but come up short in other areas. Try to detect which elements you exhibit and which need to be unleashed in your life.

•  Spiritual courage. The spiritual journey requires being in the present. It is a trust in faith that propels you to continue growing. You become a “witness” to your attachments to results and learn to self-correct. You surrender your ego to a higher level of courage consciousness, and you begin to exist in a place “where courage meets grace.” As all this happens, humility steps in to replace arrogance and righteousness. The sacred within awakens.

•  Emotional courage. Similar to spiritual courage, this involves “knowing thyself.” A path committed to contemplation is required to release your false identity. Thomas Keating in Open Mind, Open Heart defines it this way: “the self-image developed to cope with the emotional trauma of early childhood which seeks happiness in satisfying the instinctual needs of survival/security, affection/esteem, and power/control, and which bases its self-worth on cultural or group identification.” In the Enneagram, it would relate to the instinctual fears around the three subtypes: social, one-on-one and self-preservation.

•  Leadership courage (individual and organization). The courageous culture of an organization honors and uplifts the human spirit (the opposite of authoritarianism or coercion). The collective intent of a courageous organization is to join hearts and minds in order to achieve inspired results. It means the organization (and its people) will “fall on their swords” to honor their collective personal courage. Courage leadership knows the difference between pride and arrogance versus humility and grace.

•  Individual leadership courage. Rooted in truth, you know your own heart and speak it appropriately.

•  Ethical/Moral courage. This courage is activated by the attitude of willingness to choose differently in spite of personal hardship. The objective is a higher level of integrity than required for the easy alternative. Moral courage is like a compass. Over a long period of time, a one-degree navigational error will take you hundreds of miles off course.

•  Physical courage. Facing a physical limitation that challenges the human body, utilizing the body to achieve athletic challenges, facing physical dangers or overcoming at serious health problems—these are the best-understood forms of courage today. Practicing a contemplative life (stopping and “being”) or being centered in mind, body and spirit are other less-known physical examples of courage.

•  Personal courage. The way of your heart might be the easiest way to understand this form of courage. It is a blending of heart and mind combined with the commitment to hold yourself one hundred percent accountable for your actions. You must recognize that your spirit is the author of your fate such as feeling safe during times of uncertainty, and feeling comfortable with the individuation of your spirit also contribute.

•  Political courage. Unwillingness to sell your soul is the key feature, represented by whether you stand as a politician (self-serving) or a statesmen (serving others). In other words, is your intention to do what is right by placing future needs ahead of political aspiration? Political courage is characterized by humility, not ego. It is being willing to go out on a limb to express an unpopular thought that reveals your authenticity.

•  Social courage. Social courage exhibits congenial behavior in public, regardless of the circumstance. With discipline and grace, you reveal a courage paradox: you do not insult others, nor do you suffer an offense in silence. Your image plays a key role, expressing the contradictory qualities of social grace with a rebellion against society’s limitations.

By distinguishing and inserting these aspects of courage into your daily life, you increasingly manifest true courage, setting an example to which others can look for affirmation.

Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE, trainer and courage coach. She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. Please visit www.sandrawalston.com.

Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert

Innovator, StuckThinking™

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

© Sandra Walston

All Rights Reserved

The remaining six myths carried over from my last posting are about teenage courage. They are applicable to women of all ages.

 4. Girls outgrow and courageously overcome the need to gossip or start rumors about each other. No one wants to feel left out in the cold. Gossip and rumors do not end when you “grow up” and start work. These negative practices end with taking responsibility for your actions, admitting that you have done it to other girls and understanding what it feels like when it has been done to you.

What can you do? The last thing you want to do is hold a grudge. Do not allow your feelings to fester while you justify those feelings by telling your friends about the injustice of the situation. Before you become a martyr, put petty jealousies behind you. Angela Cortez says, “It takes courage for a teen to refuse to go with the crowd and avoid recording artists who degrade women in their music.” Find the courage to carry on in the face of complications.

5. Girls rarely bully each other. Unfortunately, girls do bully each other; then, they grow up and bully people at work. Doctors Gary and Ruth Namie started The Workplace Bullying & Trauma Institute years ago. Gary told me, “Fifty-eight percent of bullies are women, and of that fifty-eight percent, approximately eighty-seven percent are women bullying women. Sadly, when the bully finds his or her target, the target pays with his or her job.” It can be as simple as not returning a smile, saying hello or giving the “evil eye.”

Most of the time, it is the loudest and pushiest who set the bully standards for the group. (Unchecked, these same teens demonstrate the same tendencies as adults—e.g., overly zealous behaviors or entitlement). These behaviors do not stop simply because someone graduates from high school or college. Bullying is cruel and unacceptable behavior. The cruelty of children to children is real and it happens at a developmental stage when children are most vulnerable. Preventing bullying, no matter what form it takes, demands personal courage.

What can you do? Determine your real agenda. Is the bullying about you, or is it intended to silence and overpower others? Tell the bully that they cannot talk to you that way. Even though you cannot control the person, you have at least expressed your boundary, and that takes courage. A teenager’s situation is about not letting the bully keep the power; then, the drama starts to diminish. I had to speak up to a female participant who was belittling me. I said, “Excuse me. You don’t get to speak to me that way. I am happy to talk to you, but not with that tone.” Everyone wants to feel accepted, so let us all recognize that trying to overpower other girls only degrades us all.

6. Cliques and “pecking order” are only a teen phenomena. Girls readily adopt social manipulation tactics, and the mechanisms of this manipulation, the cliques, continue into adulthood. Most girls have an enduring need to belong, and “cliques form a raft to help us navigate life’s choppy waters. And by their nature, cliques almost always follow an internal chain of command with others allowing those with the most perceived power to lead—even if what the leaders are doing makes us uncomfortable. Didn’t we leave all that stuff behind long ago, in junior high?,” writes Jenny Dream in a Denver Post article “The Clique that Grows Up.” Not exactly!

What can you do? Speak up to end the perception that we are not all equal. David Hawkins, M.D. wrote in Truth vs Falsehood, “Appearance is not essence, perception is not reality, and the cover is not the book. Error is quite often convincing, which is an unpleasant fact to consider and accept. Everyone secretly believes that their own personal view of the world is ‘real,’ factual and true.” Be fierce and devoted friends to each other.

Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE, trainer and courage coach. She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. Please visit www.sandrawalston.com.

Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert

Innovator, StuckThinking™

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

© Sandra Walston

All Rights Reserved

Below are the first three of six insights about whether teenagers grow up utilizing courage and what you can do to awaken and confirm this critical virtue in teenagers you know and love: 

1. Teenage girls are encouraged to display their unique courage and they equally support other girls for their individuality. Teenagers have a big problem supporting each other’s unique personalities. Conformity, the opposite of courage, is more the required standard of acceptance, and girls frequently taunt or ostracize each other if they declare their originality. Girls tend to brand each other with unfavorable labels, and this negative branding can last a lifetime if the girl internalizes the cruel comments. These behaviors undermine self-esteem and suppress speaking up. Phyllis Chesler’s years of research led her to conclude in Woman’s Inhumanity to Woman: “Nice girls are not necessarily nice at all—and that most girls know this.… The teenage girls who engage in policing, shaming, and ostracizing other teenage girls are not exactly passive victims, but are in fact each of them actively protecting their own self-interest.” 

What can you do? Independently speak up and declare, “Now is the time for women to stop gossiping, backbiting and slandering other women.” Betrayal will never advance teenage girls, and grudges only keep us pedaling in the same spot (even at work). Stop double standards for boys and girls. Do not encourage feelings of loneliness or rejection because a girl expresses her individuality in spite of the latest trend with the “in” crowd. The individualists among our girls tend to be labeled as “too strong,” so take advantage of every opportunity to support the courage portrayed by each girl—the girl who is willing to stand alone on an issue, the girl who honestly expresses what no one else can (or will), the girl who chooses to be her true self, changing her behavior to reflect her spirit. Elevating your personal courage is not a sin. It is a virtue!

2. Girls learn to exhibit their courage at a young age when they communicate openly and demonstrate supportive behaviors. Chesler continues, “Like girls, adult women intimates value their connection to each other so much that they are willing to sacrifice direct and honest communication.” Unfortunately, young girls are unskilled at speaking directly much less being able to express exactly what they think. This makes a courageous teen stand out from the crowd. How teenage girls demonstrate communication skills starts in grammar school, witnessing their parents and their community leaders.

 What can you do? Support speaking directly without manipulation. Do not accept so quickly what one girl says about another girl. Observe if you speak more caringly and forgivingly to a boy. If so, why do you respond with different standards?

 3. Girls demonstrate courage when they comfortably express their accomplishments and when they are openly complimentary to peers. Speaking up to share your experiences, such as getting an A on a paper or genuinely complimenting another girl for her courage is often considered boasting or bragging, so girls are uncomfortable (and lack support) to express their accomplishments. Girls rarely express their accomplishments because it can be judged as haughty bragging. At this extreme it is not pretty and neither is “machisma.” Research now indicates that girls commonly ask out guys and that they are comfortable expressing this behavior. In other words, girls initiate the contact and consider it normal. So what’s wrong with expressing pride in your hard-earned accomplishments or newfound insights?

What can you do? There is nothing wrong with “going for it”—being all you can be. Advance your accomplishments (large or small) with grace, and encourage others. Extending compliments spurs support and extends genuine hospitality.

Stay tuned for Part II.

Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert
Innovator, StuckThinking™
Follow me on Twitter and Facebook
© Sandra Walston
All Rights Reserved

What does “you have arrived” mean? You have arrived means you stop sabotaging your life by worrying too much to prove your worth. For my work in courage, to know “you’ve already arrived…” means the person lives a “courage-centered” life—it’s intentional, and declared from the heart! 

The most critical issue as you embrace this forgotten virtue is to give yourself permission to claim your everyday courage—not the media’s angle of sensational, amazing, tragic or scandalous types of headlines, but the type that allows you to brand your special style. When self-doubt creeps in, ask: “How can I act with courage?” The way to access your courage is to pause and reflect. Ask another question: “How do my scripts confirm my False Self (the incessant chatter of the ego) and bind me in my mind-created fear? For example, “One day I will be a pro/ready/skilled to ….?” Then determine how courage can differentiate you and showcase your talents. 

Scripts keep you stuck, so where you are stuck? Until you take time to stop and reflect, to let go of attachments such as consumer gadgets and/or the self-identification to “busyness,” most of us will remain in our StuckThinking™ patterns. Staying stuck in our scripts keeps us doing the same thing over and over. When a host of difficulties comes your way a courageous person refuses to give up in spite of the obstacles. But, what’s the benefit of this energy? 

A symbiotic relationship merges when you combine your personal courage and your intention. This says you witness courage at its best—a contagious antidote! Overall, the assessment that I hold is our culture perpetuates pitching courage and fear against each other. This pitching is the egos creation of duality such as good/bad, pretty/ugly, smart/dumb or courage/fear. I always think of the John Wayne quote that epitomizes and enables this dualistic belief and brands courage as bravado: “Courage is being scared to death…and saddling up anyway.” For me, a centered heart has no fear (unless a rattlesnake is looking you in the face or you’re along at night in a parking lot and you sense someone. Someone said, “One cannot discover new oceans until he [she] has courage to lose sight of the shore.”  

How will you choose to design your courage to advance in your true work? If you have to work, make it your Truth. In Truth, you will find your passion. With unceasing zeal, declare what I call a “Declaration of Courageous Intention” and use this tool as a compass on your life’s journey. What matters most is that you take positive action, now, to declare your intent. 

Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE, trainer and courage coach. She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. Please visit www.sandrawalston.com. 

Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert
Innovator, StuckThinking™
Follow me on Twitter and Facebook
© Sandra Walston
All Rights Reserved

Now that I shared my rookie story in my previous blog posting about confronting Mr. Big Shot,  what is the key ingredient to my life lesson? Courage! Don’t ever consider selling your soul or swallowing your voice for a piece of business, even if it looks like “the big one!” The key to securing the right type of business is to understand the kind of courage that supports effective leadership. I don’t mean bravado or physical courage but the kind of day-to-day courage that invaluable business leaders employ consistently—everything from speaking up during a company meeting to overcoming an obstacle that hinders professional advancement. These small instances often create the defining moments of a person’s career.

Most people mistakenly believe that courage is only relevant during particularly perilous times. As a result, they don’t perceive the courageous nature of exploring new ideas, confronting gossip, transitioning to a new career, transcending rejection or taking the initiative to spearhead change. In reality, each person has the capacity to be a courageous leader regardless of his or her position! Whether you’re a graphic designer, sales executive, dental assistant or the CEO, how you confront workday issues and contribute to your own professional advancement speak volumes about your personal courage and set a leadership example others can follow. 

So what makes the difference? The difference lies in understanding the deeper meaning of courage, which comes from the French word corage, meaning “heart and spirit.” In other words, acting with courage is really about acting from your heart and spirit—from the center of your being. By identifying with your true heart-and-spirit Self, you claim the courage that empowers you to overcome personal limitations—the kind of limitations that prevent us all from providing effective business leadership. Since our limitations vary widely, each of us must reflect on our own life lessons in order to recognize the misperceptions and attachments that keep us stuck in our false identities and counterproductive patterns.

So what happened to my career at this bank? I kept my job. In fact, I quickly learned banking processes and regulations and advanced to assistant vice president. Eventually, I became vice president of private banking, and throughout it all, I never regretted a single courage-based decision that I made.

Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE, trainer and courage coach. She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. Please visit www.sandrawalston.com.

 Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert

Innovator, StuckThinking™

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

© Sandra Walston

All Rights Reserved

One of the first life lessons of my career also made the biggest impression. Maybe you recall one of those types of stories in your life.

I had taken a job as an entry-level business development officer for a small start-up bank in West Los Angeles. My job responsibilities consisted of qualifying, securing and transferring profitable clients in the bank’s target market, perhaps the most important part of the business for a start-up. Thrown into the fire without any bank training, I learned the hard way—by making cold calls on prospective clients. Nonetheless, I had to show my boss, the president, that they had hired the right person to bring in lucrative businesses. The only problem was that I didn’t know how to assess a “profitable piece of business.”

Thirty-Fifth Floor

Less than a month into my new job, I was referred to a prospective “big” client. His office was located in an upscale section of the city on the thirty-fifth floor. Dressed in a polished business suit and carrying a leather briefcase, I introduced myself and handed my business card to the man in the stiff, starched white shirt. I was in awe of the floor-to- ceiling glass windows and the huge, spacious office space for one person. He took my card and said, “Well, normally I don’t meet with anyone below vice president.” He then proceeded to tell me about the “wonderful” and “profitable” piece of business he might consider transferring to our new bank.

The tone of the meeting made me nervous, and I began to wonder if Mr. Big Shot really fit the client profile that the bank was looking for. The longer he pontificated, the more questions he raised in my mind. When he finally finished his sermon of self-importance, he looked sternly at me and said, “So, what do you think about this possibility?” I had taken copious notes in anticipation that I would go back to the bank, share the information with my boss and be guided by his experience; but Mr. Big Shot said that I needed to make the decision, right now!

In that moment, unsure if my mind was analyzing the scenario correctly, I decided to ignore the fears of losing an important client and draw upon my personal courage. I said, “I don’t think this opportunity will be a good fit for us.” I immediately got up from my chair, picked up my briefcase and said, “Thank you for your time.”

He was so angry with me that, as I walked toward the office door, he literally got in my face saying, “This can be a small town. I’ll remember you and make you regret this!” He did this all the way to the hallway that housed the elevators.

Wow! Now what would I do?

I had no idea if I had screwed up or done the right thing! As I approached my car I could feel myself shaking as I began to wonder: “Will I be fired? Will I be blacklisted?” I called the bank president and when Baird picked up the phone I said, “You’re either going to be pleased with my decision in this prospect meeting, or you’re going to fire me today!” He said, “Hold on, I’m in a meeting with [Chairman of the Board] Joel and [Vice President] Sue, and I’m going to put you on speakerphone. What happened?”

Oh my! I had to rely upon my courage once again. Barely able to breathe, I told the story. All three of them immediately cracked up laughing! They recognized that Mr. Big Shot was little more than a self-important bully and not at all the type of client with whom they wanted to associate. The reaction from my boss left me feeling thankful that I stuck to my courageous will and took the appropriate risk to assert myself throughout this challenging moment.

Join me next time to learn the ingredient to my life’s lesson.  

Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE, trainer and courage coach. She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. Please visit www.sandrawalston.com.