It is true that rudeness runs the gamut throughout the day in forms of not remaking the coffee after you’ve taken the last cup to not cleaning up your spot in the lunchroom after eating your sandwich that just happened to have mustard and mayon­naise all over the wrapper to not wiping up your spills in the microwave. Should I mention belching on your way out the door and not saying, “Excuse me” or covering your mouth? Should I mention yawning without covering your mouth!

If you start asking people around you about their perception of the acceptance of rudeness in the workplace, they will probably tell you that all of society is a lot ruder than it used to be and what goes on at work is a reflection of that acceptance. Experts suggest that rudeness reflects a lack of respect for peers or a lack of understanding about acceptable manners in the workplace. It seems that today’s hurried and high-tech business climate has introduced more opportunities than ever for rudeness to prevail. Take e-mail, for example. So many people have sent abusive, inappropriate messages that companies are creating rules and regulations about the use and appropriateness of e-mail.

What’s the Cause?      

As individuals con­tinue to feel debilitated by job losses, mergers and acquisitions, downsizing, and re-engineering, the disregard for each other as human beings continues to deteriorate the emotional fabric of our society. For example, in tough times, the tough managers tend to get tougher. They make employees feel as though they must accept the rude behavior (better known as workplace abuse). Of course, this makes the employees feel more insecure and less apt to challenge the rude be­havior when they are confronted with it. In addition, with so many people out of work or in transition, most feel uncomfort­able chal­lenging the inappropriate­ness of rude­ness (and the bully). 

Though not everybody agrees on what rude behavior is in the workplace or what the effect of poor communication skills may have on the outcome, most people agree there are some behaviors that would make everyone’s list of work­place rudeness. Here are a few:

• Someone acting as though you are the only employee in the office—making demands on everyone’s job.
• Someone leaving a dribble of coffee behind so you won’t have to brew the next pot.
• People checking voice mail or email or having side conversations during a meeting.
• People leaving their cell phones on during a meeting when there’s no emergency.
• Co-workers having a loud and raucous dis­cussion while you are trying to work on your computer.
• The people who con­stantly feel it’s their right to pester you anytime they want.
• Those who treat your Kleenex® box as if it’s public domain.
• Someone else taking credit for your sugges­tion or idea.
• Not saying, “thank you,” “please,” or “you’re welcome”.
• Your boss rolling his or her eyes in a meeting after you’ve made a com­ment or suggestion, allowing everyone to see how it’s okay to discount a viewpoint.
• A boss or colleague not deeming it necessary to give compliments, even when someone’s task has been above the call of duty.
• Someone with body odor and doing nothing about it.
• Not opening the door for someone whose hands are full.

 Join me next time to learn: what can you do?

Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE, trainer and courage coach. She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. Please visit www.sandrawalston.com.

GOOD MORNING!” I remember when this was the obvious greeting to start the office day. It may have been followed by a casual inquiry as to how the evening before had gone for you, whether everyone was well in the family, and so on.

Today, though, I’ve noticed that this pleasant opener is lost somewhere in a sequencing of such impersonal events as booting up the cubical computer, browsing the e-mail messages waiting from the night before, searching out that all-important cup of coffee or checking voice mail. Perhaps the one person who acknowledges your presence yawns in your face and grabs a Kleenex® or pencil from your desk without asking, or even saying “thanks.” The receptionist or fellow peer breezes past you shouting, “Some guy called 10 minutes ago about an order not being ready. I didn’t get his name but he said he’d call back sometime.” You’re ready to start your day . . . and you feel it’s already half over. Where has a little civility gone?

We have all come to accept this and more as general workplace routine. Most of us would say it hardly fazes us and really isn’t that important. Yet perhaps we’ve also noticed a lack of work enthusiasm and, even more subtly, an ebbing of loyalty to our company, our co-workers, or even our chosen careers. The “in-it-for-the-long-haul” attitude that some would say “made this country great” is missing. I contend that common courtesy and simple manners, gone the way of one-speed bicycles and black-and-white TVs, could do a lot toward redefining the workplace environment as a place of willing and generous productivity.

Those of us who were raised with manners have gotten lazy. In our laziness, we’ve raised a second generation of individuals who are simply and often sincerely ignorant of such values as respect for others, kindness, generosity, and common decency such as holding the door open for the person following you. These are not dated “old fogy” concepts. They take little to no additional time or energy, and their returns are great. Yet those who deal in them stand out like sore thumbs…oddities in our homes, our communities, and most certainly in our workplaces.

Join me next time to learn how rudeness runs the gamut at work.  

Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE, trainer and courage coach. She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. Please visit www.sandrawalston.com.